The life of a transcriptionist can be rather boring. Lately I've been transcribing the audios from microphones stuck in surgeons' pockets as they perform various surgeries. Like the above-mentioned hemorrhoidectomy, anal skin tag removal, hernia repair. Generally, these are a challenge to transcribe because the parts I'm supposed to be transcribing--surgeons' comments on the surgery--are mumbled into their pockets. However, the parts I'm to ignore--conversations, jokes and other OR talk--are shouted and the easiest to pick up.
Except for this last guy. It's like listening to Alan Alda in a Mash Unit. First off, he has great OR music. Music that is so loud that I can transcribe Taj Mahal's lyrics. So during all the lag times, like when the surgeons are cauterizing veins or sucking up stuff--I can rock out to Taj and various Delta Blues guys.
This surgeon is a riot. He doesn't mumble anything. And I've learned some new abbreviations, as did the resident surgeon he was working with. The surgeon said, "Watch out for the BFV. You don't want to hit the BFV." BFV? I hope I caught that right because it wasn't a medical abbreviation I was familiar with. Finally the resident asked, "BFV. Is that 'big fucking vein'?" "Hey, I didn't say that," said our surgeon, "but yeah. Like BFN. Big ___ needle." God, I love this guy. Or like when he said, "The more you play with it, the harder it gets." Pause. "I'm talking about the hernia." He also said shit and oops a lot because they were encountering some problems. Not sure I'd want him as my surgeon but I'll transcribe him any day.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
...in the meantime
I am not doing that well with people. The other night at the 11:11 club I went off on a rather bizarre riff. I attacked The Yoga Teacher for kicking The Landlord's dog (that really pisses me off--and everyone else, too--but when I brought it up the dog's owner backed down). Then I mentioned to the Other Tenant that it was interesting that she finally came out of her trailer to smoke pot when her boyfriend was gone. I was just stating a fact. No...I was being an asshole. The hypocrisy makes me nuts.
I figured that if The Landlord brought up my behavior today I would quote William Hurt in "The Big Chill": I was just trying to keep the conversation lively. Or something like that.
It's that old "familiarity breeds contempt." Or at least I think that's what it is. People make me nuts. I'm tired of the same old stories. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of the bravado. I'm just tired of people.
And I want to be in a relationship? I guess I need an attitude adjustment. You can't expect someone to love you if you don't love others, blah blah blah. Puh-lease. (I think I need a cynical bastard to match my cynical bitch.)
I figured that if The Landlord brought up my behavior today I would quote William Hurt in "The Big Chill": I was just trying to keep the conversation lively. Or something like that.
It's that old "familiarity breeds contempt." Or at least I think that's what it is. People make me nuts. I'm tired of the same old stories. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of the bravado. I'm just tired of people.
And I want to be in a relationship? I guess I need an attitude adjustment. You can't expect someone to love you if you don't love others, blah blah blah. Puh-lease. (I think I need a cynical bastard to match my cynical bitch.)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
stowing and towing
Not only have I been ignoring my blog, but I haven't been tracking other people's blogs either. Mea culpa! I do want to know what ya'll been doing but, damn, I've been busy. I've been working, writing, and even managed to spend ten days in Mexico for a music festival. But mostly I've been thinking/worrying about all the chores I have to do to get ready for the move back to Mexico.
The Landlord, God bless him (and you know when people say that they mean "I love him in spite of the fact that he can be an asshole"), just rolls his eyes when I whine about all the chores facing me. So in an effort to garner some sympathy, here's my list of all the things I have to do to get these wheels on their way to Mexico.
I have to go to Tucson and hit World Market, Trader Joe's, an eyeglass joint (in spite of my cataract surgery I still need driving glasses), Old Navy, Dillard's...God, the list is endless. (Thank the goddesses for credit cards!)
Concurrently I have to take care of business. Like Mexican insurance, switching cell phone plans, getting a Skype-In number, putting in a change of address, getting a new debit card (my strip went belly-up)...
Then there's the trailer/van. Get tires inflated, deal with rust, stow all the knickknacks, replace window latches, clean out the shitter...
Fuck.
Losing weight was on the list but that will have to wait till I'm back on the beach and walking with my short blond friends, both of whom I saw on my way home from the music festival. Here is one of them:
Isn't she pretty? She recognized me immediately even though it had been ten months or more since I last saw her. As though no time had passed, she and the other blond dog walked with us on the beach, followed us into town. I may not do well with people but dogs love me.
I promise to check your blogs, my dear friends, and to post more frequently. Especially once I'm back in Mexico. In the meantime...
The Landlord, God bless him (and you know when people say that they mean "I love him in spite of the fact that he can be an asshole"), just rolls his eyes when I whine about all the chores facing me. So in an effort to garner some sympathy, here's my list of all the things I have to do to get these wheels on their way to Mexico.
I have to go to Tucson and hit World Market, Trader Joe's, an eyeglass joint (in spite of my cataract surgery I still need driving glasses), Old Navy, Dillard's...God, the list is endless. (Thank the goddesses for credit cards!)
Concurrently I have to take care of business. Like Mexican insurance, switching cell phone plans, getting a Skype-In number, putting in a change of address, getting a new debit card (my strip went belly-up)...
Then there's the trailer/van. Get tires inflated, deal with rust, stow all the knickknacks, replace window latches, clean out the shitter...
Fuck.
Losing weight was on the list but that will have to wait till I'm back on the beach and walking with my short blond friends, both of whom I saw on my way home from the music festival. Here is one of them:
Isn't she pretty? She recognized me immediately even though it had been ten months or more since I last saw her. As though no time had passed, she and the other blond dog walked with us on the beach, followed us into town. I may not do well with people but dogs love me.I promise to check your blogs, my dear friends, and to post more frequently. Especially once I'm back in Mexico. In the meantime...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
police beat from a small town
(Note: To protect the anonymity of this town, I left some identifying information blank. All typos belong to the newspaper. Maybe I should apply for a job.)
Jan. 2
1:34 a.m. — A disturbance was reported in the 600 block of Campbell with people yelling and screaming. They were found outside a residence and advised by officers to go inside.
12:50 p.m. — Someone stole a female mannikin dressed in a brown coat from a residence in the 400 block of Mason Hill.
Jan. 3
Midnight — Someone stole a woman’s purse while she was visiting an acquaintance at Hillcrest Apartments on Hillcrest Drive.
2:43 p.m. — Officers responded to a report of shoplifting at ALCO on ___ Highway. Upin their arrival a female suspect fled the area. The property was recovered.
3:57 p.m. — A ____ man, 53, was arrested for DUI on ____ Hill after driving poorly and failing all field sobriety tests. He was booked into County Jail.
7:45 p.m. — A ____ man reported that while he was walking with the ____ Tour behind the radio station on ____ Avenue another man had threatening them by yelling and screaming.
Jan. 4
12:04 a.m. — A ____ woman in the 300 block of Teran Street reported someone had tried to open her back door. She requested an extra patrol.
1:48 a.m. — An officer was dispatched to assist the County Sheriff’s Office with a domestic disturbance in progress at the ____ Café bar on ___ Highway. A man, 31, had pinned a woman, 24, against the wall at the end of the bar and was screaming at her, refusing to let her leave. The man became combative with the officer and was advised he would be tased if he did not comply. After he attempted to pull away, he was tased and handcuffed. He was arrested and booked into ____ County Jail.
10:14 a.m. — A man just released from County Jail committed domestic violence/disorderly conduct and interfered with a judicial proceeding while at a residence in the 100 block of Campbell Avenue. The man left the residence prior to the officer arriving.
2:59 p.m. — Juveniles at the Ballpark were reported throwing garbage around and interfering with the scoreboard. They were gone when officers arrived.
4:13 p.m. — A friend of the owner of a vacant house on ___ Street reported that someone unknown could be living in the vacant home. The kitchen door lock was broken, the house is messy and someone is defecating into a bucket
there. He requested an extra patrol and a check of the premise.
4:32 p.m. — Someone stole a generator valued at $800 from the front yard of a residence in the 800 block of Pittsburgh Avenue. It had been chained to a tree and the chain had been cut.
5:17 p.m. — Someone smeared a red substance all over a vehicle parked in the 100 block of San Jose Drive.
9 p.m. — Someone stole a 1997 Pontiac from the 600 block of P Street. The vehicle was later recovered by the Arizona Department of Public Service.
11:24 p.m. — A ____ woman reported hearing sneezing and footsteps in the roof of her house in the 500 block of ___ Place. Officers were unable to locate anyone in the area.
Jan. 5
10 a.m. — A security officer at Superior Court reported that a jury member at the court had a possible outstanding warrant. The ____ man, 35, was arrested on a warrant for failure to appear/child support with a bond of $2,000 and booked into ____ County Jail.
Jan. 6
9:06 a.m. — A security officer at Superior Court reported that a 20-year-old man at the courthouse could possibly have outstanding warrants. He was arrested on three warrants including aggravated assault with a weapon, a traffic violation and suspended license charges.
10:29 a.m. — A resident in the 600 block of ____ reported that she had been out of town and when she returned found that the lock on her storage shed had been removed and she could hear noises in the shed. The officer found that the lock had been broken and two javelinas were inside the shed.
3:58 p.m. — A suspicious white male with long hair was observed running across a yard in the 100 block of Second Street and jumping a fence in the alley way between Park Avenue and Pittsburgh Avenue. Officers were unable to locate anyone in the area of that description.
Jan. 7
1:53 p.m. — A ____ man, 34, was arrested for selling alcohol without a license in the Safeway parking lot. He was cited and released.
6:43 p.m. — An irate man was reported causing a disturbance at the ____ Hospital, speaking loudly on his cell phone, upset about how long he had been waiting to see hospital staff.
8:16 p.m. — Three juveniles were observed throwing rocks on D Street. They had left the area when the officer arrived.
Jan. 8
10:30 a.m. — A woman, approximately 60 years old with white hair, stole several items from the Family Dollar store. Some items were recovered but the employee reporting the shoplifting believes more items were in the woman’s purse. She ran out of the store and went on foot to the bus stop. She was no longer there when the officer arrived.
2:59 p.m. — A man, 22, was reported panhandling in City Park.
3:07 p.m. — Three men were observed with open containers loitering in the Broadway Steps.
3:45 p.m. — An extra patrol was requested after a broken window was observed in the former Rose’s Flowers building, now closed at ____.
6:13 p.m. — A man, 52, was arrested and booked into County Jail on criminal damage and disorderly conduct charges after yelling at the ____ Hospital staff and breaking a lock on a cabinet.
Jan. 2
1:34 a.m. — A disturbance was reported in the 600 block of Campbell with people yelling and screaming. They were found outside a residence and advised by officers to go inside.
12:50 p.m. — Someone stole a female mannikin dressed in a brown coat from a residence in the 400 block of Mason Hill.
Jan. 3
Midnight — Someone stole a woman’s purse while she was visiting an acquaintance at Hillcrest Apartments on Hillcrest Drive.
2:43 p.m. — Officers responded to a report of shoplifting at ALCO on ___ Highway. Upin their arrival a female suspect fled the area. The property was recovered.
3:57 p.m. — A ____ man, 53, was arrested for DUI on ____ Hill after driving poorly and failing all field sobriety tests. He was booked into County Jail.
7:45 p.m. — A ____ man reported that while he was walking with the ____ Tour behind the radio station on ____ Avenue another man had threatening them by yelling and screaming.
Jan. 4
12:04 a.m. — A ____ woman in the 300 block of Teran Street reported someone had tried to open her back door. She requested an extra patrol.
1:48 a.m. — An officer was dispatched to assist the County Sheriff’s Office with a domestic disturbance in progress at the ____ Café bar on ___ Highway. A man, 31, had pinned a woman, 24, against the wall at the end of the bar and was screaming at her, refusing to let her leave. The man became combative with the officer and was advised he would be tased if he did not comply. After he attempted to pull away, he was tased and handcuffed. He was arrested and booked into ____ County Jail.
10:14 a.m. — A man just released from County Jail committed domestic violence/disorderly conduct and interfered with a judicial proceeding while at a residence in the 100 block of Campbell Avenue. The man left the residence prior to the officer arriving.
2:59 p.m. — Juveniles at the Ballpark were reported throwing garbage around and interfering with the scoreboard. They were gone when officers arrived.
4:13 p.m. — A friend of the owner of a vacant house on ___ Street reported that someone unknown could be living in the vacant home. The kitchen door lock was broken, the house is messy and someone is defecating into a bucket
there. He requested an extra patrol and a check of the premise.
4:32 p.m. — Someone stole a generator valued at $800 from the front yard of a residence in the 800 block of Pittsburgh Avenue. It had been chained to a tree and the chain had been cut.
5:17 p.m. — Someone smeared a red substance all over a vehicle parked in the 100 block of San Jose Drive.
9 p.m. — Someone stole a 1997 Pontiac from the 600 block of P Street. The vehicle was later recovered by the Arizona Department of Public Service.
11:24 p.m. — A ____ woman reported hearing sneezing and footsteps in the roof of her house in the 500 block of ___ Place. Officers were unable to locate anyone in the area.
Jan. 5
10 a.m. — A security officer at Superior Court reported that a jury member at the court had a possible outstanding warrant. The ____ man, 35, was arrested on a warrant for failure to appear/child support with a bond of $2,000 and booked into ____ County Jail.
Jan. 6
9:06 a.m. — A security officer at Superior Court reported that a 20-year-old man at the courthouse could possibly have outstanding warrants. He was arrested on three warrants including aggravated assault with a weapon, a traffic violation and suspended license charges.
10:29 a.m. — A resident in the 600 block of ____ reported that she had been out of town and when she returned found that the lock on her storage shed had been removed and she could hear noises in the shed. The officer found that the lock had been broken and two javelinas were inside the shed.
3:58 p.m. — A suspicious white male with long hair was observed running across a yard in the 100 block of Second Street and jumping a fence in the alley way between Park Avenue and Pittsburgh Avenue. Officers were unable to locate anyone in the area of that description.
Jan. 7
1:53 p.m. — A ____ man, 34, was arrested for selling alcohol without a license in the Safeway parking lot. He was cited and released.
6:43 p.m. — An irate man was reported causing a disturbance at the ____ Hospital, speaking loudly on his cell phone, upset about how long he had been waiting to see hospital staff.
8:16 p.m. — Three juveniles were observed throwing rocks on D Street. They had left the area when the officer arrived.
Jan. 8
10:30 a.m. — A woman, approximately 60 years old with white hair, stole several items from the Family Dollar store. Some items were recovered but the employee reporting the shoplifting believes more items were in the woman’s purse. She ran out of the store and went on foot to the bus stop. She was no longer there when the officer arrived.
2:59 p.m. — A man, 22, was reported panhandling in City Park.
3:07 p.m. — Three men were observed with open containers loitering in the Broadway Steps.
3:45 p.m. — An extra patrol was requested after a broken window was observed in the former Rose’s Flowers building, now closed at ____.
6:13 p.m. — A man, 52, was arrested and booked into County Jail on criminal damage and disorderly conduct charges after yelling at the ____ Hospital staff and breaking a lock on a cabinet.
Friday, January 9, 2009
back to the beach
Well ain't that just how things go?
It sort of hit me out of nowhere that maybe I would like to move back to Mexico. So a couple weeks ago I emailed some friends and asked them if they would be keeping their spot at our little trailer park on the Sea of Cortez. I like their space because it has a big screened-in room and a bodega (storage room). I also knew that there was a phone line to this particular site.
I figured that if my friends were keeping their space, I would make a commitment to this here town, stop thinking of it as temporary.
I left it up to the universe. Whatever.
My friends skyped me and said they wouldn't be renewing their lease. I talked with the park owner and no one else has dibbs on this space so it's mine. The only glitch could be DSL but I actually think that will be worked out. I told the owner I would be there the first of March.
So there you go.
I really don't look forward to getting the trailer road ready. And I really don't look forward to traveling through Mexico by myself with my home in tow. But those are all mental/lazy barriers I put up and I know that once the wheels are rolling, I'll be okay.
This town was temporary. I felt that from the beginning. Being here enabled me to get a job, gather new friends, join a writing group, and have new eyes installed.
So it's back to Mexico. Back to the beach. Back to my two short blond friends (the dogs). Back to fresh shrimp and fish tacos. Back to no butter or lemons. Back to bobitos (gnats) and Man 'o Wars. Back to muffler-less cars and vegetable vendors with loud speakers. Back to margaritas under blood red skies. It feels right.
It sort of hit me out of nowhere that maybe I would like to move back to Mexico. So a couple weeks ago I emailed some friends and asked them if they would be keeping their spot at our little trailer park on the Sea of Cortez. I like their space because it has a big screened-in room and a bodega (storage room). I also knew that there was a phone line to this particular site.
I figured that if my friends were keeping their space, I would make a commitment to this here town, stop thinking of it as temporary.
I left it up to the universe. Whatever.
My friends skyped me and said they wouldn't be renewing their lease. I talked with the park owner and no one else has dibbs on this space so it's mine. The only glitch could be DSL but I actually think that will be worked out. I told the owner I would be there the first of March.
So there you go.
I really don't look forward to getting the trailer road ready. And I really don't look forward to traveling through Mexico by myself with my home in tow. But those are all mental/lazy barriers I put up and I know that once the wheels are rolling, I'll be okay.
This town was temporary. I felt that from the beginning. Being here enabled me to get a job, gather new friends, join a writing group, and have new eyes installed.
So it's back to Mexico. Back to the beach. Back to my two short blond friends (the dogs). Back to fresh shrimp and fish tacos. Back to no butter or lemons. Back to bobitos (gnats) and Man 'o Wars. Back to muffler-less cars and vegetable vendors with loud speakers. Back to margaritas under blood red skies. It feels right.
Monday, December 22, 2008
no more ms. four eyes
I have a beard. Fine blond hairs along my jaw line that I didn't know were there. I have more wrinkles than I thought I had. My hair color is strange--kind of like a calico cat.
I've never really seen myself. Washing my face, brushing my teeth, applying make-up, even blow-drying my hair have all been done without my glasses and so I've only seen myself blurry, nearly airbrushed to perfection. No mas. Every flaw is magnified. Every flaw is magnificent.
I can't stop staring at myself in the mirror. Even with only one repaired eye, my vision is sharp. Just imagine what I'll be able to see with two good eyes. The stars...I can't wait to see the stars!
Lots of people undergo cataract surgery but I tell you, I had no idea what to expect. So if you are facing such a thing, here goes: It was a blast! The anesthesiologist is my favorite person in the world. He said he would knock me out for a few minutes so he could numb my eye then he'd wake me up for the surgery. He put the oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and the first thing I said when I woke was "Did you have to wake me? I love being knocked out." I floated in and out of the ten minute surgery. Every once in a while I would see a sort of pale golden light. I didn't know my face had been covered until they uncovered it. I got wheeled back to the place I had started from and was immediately wide awake.
The anesthesiologist asked, "How are you feeling?" and I said, "Fine but I think Dr. Andrews should talk more or at least say something now and then." He said he would pass that on to the surgeon.
The nurse and the brochure said that my eye would feel grainy, like there was sand in it. Shit. To me it felt like there was a giant hard contact lens in my eye and it hurt like hell. I was totally bummed when I went for my postop visit the next morning. The doc said my eye was pretty swollen but it looked fine. Thursday morning the eye felt great.
So tomorrow is eye number two and I am so looking forward to the surgery. On Thursday I will make a nine-hour drive to meet my daughter at the opposite corner of the state. Let's hope this eye undergoes a speedy recovery.
Wow. What a way to end 2008...with vision, with sight.
I've never really seen myself. Washing my face, brushing my teeth, applying make-up, even blow-drying my hair have all been done without my glasses and so I've only seen myself blurry, nearly airbrushed to perfection. No mas. Every flaw is magnified. Every flaw is magnificent.
I can't stop staring at myself in the mirror. Even with only one repaired eye, my vision is sharp. Just imagine what I'll be able to see with two good eyes. The stars...I can't wait to see the stars!
Lots of people undergo cataract surgery but I tell you, I had no idea what to expect. So if you are facing such a thing, here goes: It was a blast! The anesthesiologist is my favorite person in the world. He said he would knock me out for a few minutes so he could numb my eye then he'd wake me up for the surgery. He put the oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and the first thing I said when I woke was "Did you have to wake me? I love being knocked out." I floated in and out of the ten minute surgery. Every once in a while I would see a sort of pale golden light. I didn't know my face had been covered until they uncovered it. I got wheeled back to the place I had started from and was immediately wide awake.
The anesthesiologist asked, "How are you feeling?" and I said, "Fine but I think Dr. Andrews should talk more or at least say something now and then." He said he would pass that on to the surgeon.
The nurse and the brochure said that my eye would feel grainy, like there was sand in it. Shit. To me it felt like there was a giant hard contact lens in my eye and it hurt like hell. I was totally bummed when I went for my postop visit the next morning. The doc said my eye was pretty swollen but it looked fine. Thursday morning the eye felt great.
So tomorrow is eye number two and I am so looking forward to the surgery. On Thursday I will make a nine-hour drive to meet my daughter at the opposite corner of the state. Let's hope this eye undergoes a speedy recovery.
Wow. What a way to end 2008...with vision, with sight.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
two eye surgeries, coming up
The other day I got measured for new eyeball lenses. It was a very strange procedure. I had to lie back in the chair while the tech inserted little water-filled cups into each eye. If I thought that was creepy and bizarre, I can only imagine how I'll feel about the surgery.
Romping around on the beach in Mexico without sunglasses caused a cataract in my left eye faster than you can say, well, cataract. It's one of the reasons I moved back to Arizona, to see if I could get on the public health program and get my eye taken care of.
I hadn't realized that cataract surgery would correct my vision and I really hoped that I could have both eyes done. Also, I had some choices: Did I want the free lenses the state would pay for which would allow me to see either near or far, or did I want to find $5,000 somewhere and go for the lenses that would correct for near, far, and intermediate? I've been wearing glasses since I was 8 years old. I've always wanted to lie under the stars and be able to see them. I want to ride on the back of a motorcycle without worrying that my expenses glasses will fly off my face. So I went for the free distance.
Even though people can get cataracts at any age -- two of the women in my writing group had cataract surgery in their thirties -- cataracts are mostly caused by old age and a degeneration of the lens. So it was quite fun to be in the surgeon's office and have everyone -- including the surgeon who is younger than my daughter -- say, "What's a youngster like you doing with cataracts?" They kept talking about how young I was. Hell, the only thing I thought I was too young for is Social Security and that's just barely.
So here's to happy seeing. Left eye this Tuesday; Right eye the next.
Romping around on the beach in Mexico without sunglasses caused a cataract in my left eye faster than you can say, well, cataract. It's one of the reasons I moved back to Arizona, to see if I could get on the public health program and get my eye taken care of.
I hadn't realized that cataract surgery would correct my vision and I really hoped that I could have both eyes done. Also, I had some choices: Did I want the free lenses the state would pay for which would allow me to see either near or far, or did I want to find $5,000 somewhere and go for the lenses that would correct for near, far, and intermediate? I've been wearing glasses since I was 8 years old. I've always wanted to lie under the stars and be able to see them. I want to ride on the back of a motorcycle without worrying that my expenses glasses will fly off my face. So I went for the free distance.
Even though people can get cataracts at any age -- two of the women in my writing group had cataract surgery in their thirties -- cataracts are mostly caused by old age and a degeneration of the lens. So it was quite fun to be in the surgeon's office and have everyone -- including the surgeon who is younger than my daughter -- say, "What's a youngster like you doing with cataracts?" They kept talking about how young I was. Hell, the only thing I thought I was too young for is Social Security and that's just barely.
So here's to happy seeing. Left eye this Tuesday; Right eye the next.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)