this round goes to.....

Ahhhhh, the serenity of life by the Sea of Cortez. The Sea's gentle breathing as the waves wash in, out, in, out. Sparrows singing in the trees. The rhythmic thump thump of pangas' prows as they hit the water on their way out to sea. The....

"You fucking bitch! I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh yes you do. You cut my cable."

Oh oh. The Giant Gringo and the Ex Trucker.

Last night, a little after 5:00, the Ex Trucker came over with a piece of cable in her hands. "Look at this, it's been cut." In her hand was a piece of the brand new cable I had loaned her a few months back. "Did you see him around my place?"

"No but I wasn't paying attention. Why would he cut your cable?"

"He was complaining that my TV was too loud."

"Are you sure Chapo didn't accidentally cut it when he was trimming palms?"

"Chapo was nowhere near this and look where it's been cut - up near the connector. No way Chapo would've cut it."

She took the cut cable around to the neighbors and we all agreed that it was a clean slice and not a tear. And even though I figured the Giant Gringo's bark was worse than his bite, I could see him coming home drunk from his early supper and snipping the cable. It did seem like something he would do.

"You bitch," the Giant Gringo yelled. "Why would I cut your cable?"

"I told you that if you messed with my stuff, I would retaliate."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I saw you," the Ex Trucker screamed. [Oops, I knew that wasn't exactly the truth.]

"I'm going to remove your "Y" from my water spigot. You're using my water." [Old battles re-emerge.]

"That is not your water."

"Yes it is."

The next thing I know, I hear water running. I finally look out my window and the Ex Trucker's shirt is soaked. "Now are you happy?" I don't know who sprayed whom but I have to admire her guts. The Giant Gringo is BIG and she is not backing down one little bit. And she is adamant that she saw him. She is a very good liar, I think.

They exchange a few more insults and threats and then the Giant Gringo gets in his truck and goes off to breakfast. A few minutes later I enter his bodega because he has said that I could use his washing machine. His bodega floor is wet. Is that how the Ex Trucker retaliated? Did she spray his porch?

Ay carrumba! I have never seen such childish behavior from adults in all my life. In a few weeks, the Giant Gringo will head back to the States. I have a terrible feeling that before he leaves, he will carry out at least one of his threats - to cut down her very nice wrought iron fence that he says is too close to his trailer.

Old farts certainly can be entertaining. Ya'll should try this RV living sometime.