Oh god. I told the Giant Gringo that I would go to dinner with him tonight, that I would share the Giant Steak he hand-selected for the restaurant and would partake of a bottle of champagne.Oh god.
I had been feeling bad because I've turned down every one of his invitations, to dinner, for a margarita, for a shot of Laphroaig, and so when he invited me out for Valentine's Day I thought what the hell, I haven't had champagne in nearly a year. What the hell, indeed. The man makes me crazy.
The fact that I find him physically unappealing is not the worst of it. It's his personality and his overblown ego that cause me to behave badly when I'm in his presence. And in spite of my downright nastyness, he still invites me out.
I never should have said yes.
But I did and so for two days now, since the invitation, I have told myself that at dinner I will be gracious. I will clamp down on my tongue to keep from saying things like "God! You act as though you're some great white hope come to save all the little brown people" or "You need new material; I've only known you for a month and already I've heard your stories a gazillion times" or "You're an asshole"....all things I have said. And still he invites me out.
Certainly it's because he's desperate for female companionship and not due to our sparkling repartee. The only other single woman in this park is his neighbor the Ex Trucker and they hate each other. Their latest spat was over the mangy dog the Ex Trucker's been feeding - and truly that dog is one nasty-looking beast what with a missing ear and atrophied penis. Anyhow according to the Ex Trucker the Giant Gringo told her that he got scabies from that dog and he raised up his shirt and exposed his Giant Purple Belly and yelled at the Ex Trucker "look what I got from that damn dog!" Later, when he told me about the scabies, I told him that I didn't think humans could get scabies from dogs and so I googled it and sure enough, I was right but I haven't wanted to broach the subject. If he brings it up again tonight, which he will undoubtedly do beings as this is his "new material", I'll wave the scabies article in his face - all the while keeping my mouth shut, of course.
God. What a girl won't do for a glass of the bubbly.
4 comments:
Did you dance with him?
haha, no, dorothy. he's too big and crippled up to dance. but i did go dancing with a handsome buddhist monk at the whore bar (never thought i'd have the opportunity to use 'buddhist' and 'whore' in the same sentence).
does this mean you're reviving your blog? i'll go check.
okay, it's just not my morning. I just wrote a comment and then somehow lost it.
What I said was something along the lines of I hope you will post an update to your VD (or as I have called that special day for years "stupid VD") dinner. Readers, such as myself, are waiting with bated breath to learn the outcome.
I also said that you make me laugh and that I really really need some laughter right now. So thank you for that.
Finally, I responded to your most recent comment on my blog over at my blog to try and help un-confuse the situation. Suffice it to say here - mea culpa. junemoon
junemoon, i am sorry you lost your comment and appreciate the effort you put into re-commenting.
i'll try to recap the evening. suffice it to say that i achieved drunken stupor-ness :o)
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