my fourth anniversary

I will never forget the morning I left Portland. I was scared shitless. I was captain and commander of a fleet which included a one-ton van, a Vespa motor scooter, and an Airstream travel trailer. I had a couple of planned stops on my way to ... I wasn't sure exactly. All I knew was I was going to The Desert.

The weather that morning was glorious. Blue skies opened like a curtain to the stage production that was to be my new life. Oregon had welcomed me with sun and wished me a bon voyage the same way.

I was leaving good friends and a state I had lived in for nearly thirty years. I had no idea what awaited me. Where does one live, exactly, in a trailer? In an RV park? But aren't those for travelers, people passing through? Mobile home parks? Aren't those for mobile homes which actually aren't mobile? I had some vague notion that I would stay in an RV park for a month and then have to move on, that there was some sort of time limit. Well, I was wrong. Most RV parks welcome long-term residents (especially in Arizona when the "people who are afraid of heat" move back north). Most mobile home parks (the mostly-funky ones) are really "trailer parks" which allow any type of home on wheels to park there. The Home of Dashed Hopes was a combination of all those: RV, mobile and trailer park.

How I miss that place.

What I didn't like about my brief stint as a home owner was the isolation. It was the absolute loneliest time of my life. I liked living in apartments where there were people around. And that's why I liked THofDH. There was always someone to have cocktails with, new people cycling through the park and, yes, even someone to make love to.

I so appreciate The Landlord and my cheap rent. I appreciate the community of writers and my Three Amigos. But this isn't where I belong. Even though I'm in plan-avoidance mode, I'm pretty sure that come next spring, I'll be moseying out of this mining town to a trailer park somewhere.

Unlike my old life--where looking back on the past year at New Year's or my birthday sent me sobbing to my bed--I actually look forward to these anniversaries. I can't wait to see where I'll be come next November.