SB1070 is not a racist bill. Gov. Brewer swears she is not a racist. Hell, she wouldn't know an Illegal Immigrant if she saw one. This is all about catching people who are breaking the law. I commend the governor and state representatives for their efforts and would like to help them out. So here are some tips for going after other people who are breaking the law in Arizona.
Pot smokers. As far as I know it's still against the law to smoke pot in Arizona so if I were the cops, and I was looking to bust people who are breaking the law, I'd go after pot smokers. In order to help the police pull over suspected pot smokers, I'll give them a description of your average pot smoker in oh, say, Arivaca or Bisbee: pretty much the whole towns. But to narrow it down, in Bisbee hang out at the park and pick up that homeless hippie guy with the dogs. I mean, you can smell the pot from the balcony at the Copper Queen Hotel. Then I'd go to the Food Co-op in either town and search just about everyone there. I'd demand to see the pockets and backpacks of anyone over the age of 60 who has gray hair and looks as though they could've been a flower child or radical in the 1960s and early 1970s.
Tweakers. Surely the police know how to spot meth addicts - that constant motion, the sores on the skin, the missing teeth. If I were a cop, I'd be hitting the mean streets of trailer parks scattered throughout southern Arizona. I'd look for trailers and mobile homes with insulation or plywood over the windows. I'd look for a chained-up pit bull.
And while the police are in the trailer parks, they should ask to see everyone's drivers licenses to look for the people who are driving with revoked licenses. These people are a little more difficult to profile but, again, trailer parks are good jumping-off spots.
Drunk driving. This is easy. Retirees in Arizona have a 4 o'clock cocktail hour ritual so I recommend the cops visit Sun City, maybe hang out in front of golf courses. Look for old people recklessly driving golf carts, not only at the golf courses but in their communities, at Safeway or Ace Hardware.
Wow, there are so many other law breakers - tax evaders, jay walkers, shop lifters - that I don't have the time to go into all that right now. Suffice it to say, if Arizona is serious about keeping Arizona safe, the cops should be pulling over just about every one of every color of every age.
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1 comment:
I have been waiting for this genius entry for a few days. I knew it was coming.
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