generally speaking

"Never get involved with a younger man. Younger men will always leave you for younger women. Trust me, I know."

I'm walking on the beach with one of the truly crazier-than-most-persons I've met. Her sentences rasp out between sucking on her cigarette and yelling at her dogs who belong to that breed which has won 'ugliest dog in the universe' two years in a row.

"I got married to my second husband when I was 34. He had lied about his age and it wasn't until after we were married that I found out that he was 31."

"But that's just 3 year's difference. I mean, you were practically the same age."

She stops walking and glares at me. "He was younger and he eventually left me for a younger woman. They all do that."

And thus a generalization is born. A more appropriate generalization would probably be "When you're an angry mean-spirited bitch men will leave you" but, shoot, even that one doesn't hold up given all the mean people I know who are in relationships with their opposites. Crash goes another generalization.

When I took off with my trailer, thus becoming a part of the RV'ing lifestyle, I knew from demographic studies that I would be in the company of mostly older conservative people. In my mind "RV" stood for "Republican Voter" and I figured there was no way I could affix my favorite decal to my van window: A picture of Bush with the caption "like a rock only dumber". Not only that but I was leaving the warm embrace (albeit a wet one) of liberal pacific northwest for the desert southwest, rumored to be populated with nothing but narrow-minded, gun-toting, fuck-you cowboys and rednecks.

Here's what I've learned from living amongst "the others": Most RVers and desert southwest dwellers are, indeed, conservative, republican, christian but they are not all cut from the same cloth. Some are really nice people (gasp!) and some even possess traits mostly ascribed to liberals and progressives: They care about other people! I'll be damned.

And here's something else. In my two years of Red State internment I did not meet one person who admitted to having voted for Bush. Not one. An example is The Rancher who said "I grew up in Texas and know just about every ranching family in Texas. I can't stand the Bush's; most people I know can't stand 'em. I didn't vote for Senior and no way in hell would I vote for the son." The Rancher didn't like environmentalists. He thought everyone who lived in the southwest should learn spanish. He was not a man who fit neatly into a stereotype.

Neither is Mr. Texan who says "I was a Southern Baptist until I saw how hateful those people can be. And even though I'm conservative, I voted for Ralph Nader in the last election because I couldn't bring myself to vote for Bush...and I HATE Ralph Nader." (This, of course, is fodder for another entry: How in the hell did Bush get elected when no one voted for him? And don't say it was because of Nader.)

We feel comfortable with stereotypes. We define ourselves against "them", those others who are all rude or bad drivers or suckers (aka 'bleeding heart liberals'). If we hang on to our generalizations, then we don't have to question our beliefs.

Sometimes it helps to gain a wider perspective when you are on the receiving end of a stereotype. I was in Europe and met a great bunch of people from all over the world who were staying in the same pensione. I was having a great time with a very handsome man from Switzerland until he found out I was American. "I thought you were Canadian!" he said. "I have no use for Americans." I was a tad bit stunned but later we were able to converse and I pointed out that all Americans weren't alike; for instance, we hadn't all voted for Reagan.

There are truly a bunch of assholes in the world. The thing is, you can't always judge a book by its cover. Or by its voter registration card.